Are you stuck in a cave of your own making, screaming, “My preciouuuus!” as you cling to habits that erode your happiness?
I’ve loved some of my habits. They wouldn’t be so ingrained if I didn’t. There’s a payoff to every behavior, even the unhealthy ones.
Would we indulge in them otherwise?
What I didn’t love before I began my Total Life Course, was the way those habits shaped my everyday life and how they made me feel. I didn’t love how my energy was sapped from the inside out. I didn’t love how I looked. My mental focus was a winged thing, flying from one distraction to the next. It was affecting my work and my feeling of mastery over the details of my life.
When we do things for the sake of enjoyment, there shouldn’t be a harsh blowback in our overall quality of life. Undoubtedly, you’ve heard the phrase, “Self-indulgence does not equal self-care.” That’s so true it stings. At the very least, the scale of our consistent habits should tilt on the side of actual self-benefit.
The enjoyment of my self-defeating habits was lessened over time when I saw, felt, and knew deep in my bones that those habits didn’t support me in being, looking, and feeling my best. I didn’t love what I was projecting to the world. I wasn’t being my best self and therefore, was giving a lesser version of my life to the world. The habits could be oh-so-fun but the cumulative cost was becoming too great.
I knew this.
Every single time I indulged in that which felt good over that which was good for me. I knew it.
I don’t keep secrets from myself.
My best friend, Lucy, says that she never worries about my decisions or harebrained schemes because she knows that I’m so overly self-analytical that everything I do or will do or have done has been examined with the intense focus of a researcher on the verge of discovering a life-altering drug.
That is to say that I’m onto myself.
I’m utterly aware of my own bullshit.
But my inner juvenile is so good at getting her way.
I hung on to nasty habitses with lines like, “I deserve it. You only live once. I’ll change tomorrow.” Foul word-poo and I knew it the minute they left my mouth.
My Highest Self would shake her head. She knew it, too.
We can ignore, delay, procrastinate, and stink-think all we want but the truth is still there, nagging with it’s…friggin’ truthiness.
The nagging feeling was akin to knowing there was another life waiting for me and that it would be better than my current life. I could sense it, beyond a veil between what I was willing to give up and what I was willing to work for.
Three of the worst Nasty Habitses:
–Believing that what you do today doesn’t matter.
(This is a rubber check that buys you time but not long-term happiness. This is how you pay for a counterfeit self, not your Highest Self.)
–Having a case of the tomorrows.
(Your tomorrow is a product of today. Every choice matters.)
–Using “self-acceptance” as an excuse not to make changes.
(If you truly accept yourself and your life as it is, then you will have no inner conflict about your actions. If there is conflict, then your habits aren’t in your true self-interest.)
We are the sum of our daily habits. That means that every choice today determines how we feel tomorrow and in the days to come.
Negative habits that aren’t in your best interest have the power to morph you into a creature that’s unrecognizable from who really are. Be strong enough to let them go. Be the Bilbo you want to see in the world.
***If you’re interested in learning how you can use the Total Life Course to banish those Nasty Habitses, sign up for our newsletter. Exciting news to come!